Flash! Ah-ahh!

By far the strangest experience I've had so far was at the Glasgow Botanic Gardens. Not because they were particularly weird at all - in fact they were amazing. Kibble Palace was a hot-house more so than a green-house in my opinion, but had some gorgeous plants from all over the world, including an amazing collection of fly-traps. They also had reflectors above every section, which probably had something to do with heat, but made for an interesting view above the plants - like tiny mirrors. There was an excellent cafe, and I had lunch there before going on to look at some of the other green houses out in the 'garden proper'. Again, nothing odd about that.

No, what was strange was that I was flashed inside one of the rainforest greenhouses, completely out of the blue! Not that flashers tend to warn you, "excuse me, hi there, just so you know, I'm about to flash you" but honestly, the Botanic Gardens? Of all places! You know those moments when you walk away and then all the witty retorts come flooding in and you almost wish you could go back for a take two? Something along the lines of "of what?" perhaps, or "what am I looking for?". 

I had my camera out and was obsessing over a fern, and had noticed that a young-ish guy  was hanging around when everyone else moved on. But, he was doing laps and looking quite intently at the plants and, actually, I was doing the same thing - so thought nothing of it. 

I turned a corner and heard him say something about taking a picture, and since there was no-one else there I thought, to be polite, I'd just poke my head back around to check whether he was on the phone or in fact talking to me. As I walked back around I said "sorry, did you say something?" and he says "take a picture" and tah-dah! He was giggling like a school girl. He didn't go the whole hog either, this was no overcoat-with-nothing-under-it scenario, he just, well lets put it this way: the clothes were still on but the 'essentials' were on display. 

Wow. The fact that it took me a few seconds of intense confusion to figure out what I was looking at probably helped - I imagine I looked completely blank, possibly even dead bored. 

Unfortunately, my response was an unimaginative "Uh, no thankyou" in my best 'how dull' voice. As you can imagine, I didn't hang around for the reaction, no I hot-footed it back around the corner into a delightful dead-end. So, should he decide to provide me with a take-two of the show, there would be nothing I could do about it. 

I decided to plow on, figuring my best bet was to act bored and un-bothered and therefore not worth the effort etc etc. I finally got up the nerve to cast a casual, bored glance back over my shoulder and, happily, he was nowhere to be seen. Phew!

I warily made my way back through the (ridiculously long) greenhouse, through its multiple sections and doors, to the exit. I didn't see any sign of him, so I left my crazy-lady-being-hunted appearance at the door and walked confidently on. Excellent. 

I must have dropped my wits as well when I left the crazy-lady look at the door, because I decided that since I was now safe, I could continue walking around and exploring.

The river path looked nice. About halfway down the path to the river I thought I heard something behind me. I turned around and saw no-one, but heard rustling back up the path. A fairly sizable bush was having its branches exercised but I decided it was a squirrel or something and kept going. 

As I kept walking I could then hear footsteps behind me, and turned to see who it was - since I was in a public garden, it was fairly likely other people would be walking there too, right? No reason to be weirded out, but lets just confirm. As I turned around though, all I saw was a guy duck behind a tree.Terrific. I'm being stalked by a flasher. Funny though I find it in hindsight, at the time I was becoming slightly concerned;

does he just happen to need to go the same way as me, and is hiding behind a tree embarrassed? One would think he'd have chosen a different route or hightailed it out of the gardens altogether if it was likely he'd develop a sense of remorse after flashing someone - choose a different hobby, no? Alternatively, is he a bona fide nutter and planning a second attempt, or something more sinister? Am I about to murdered clumsily by an indiscreet flasher?  

Next question, do I keep going and hope I come across some more people to tag along with down at the river; or do I risk going back past the tree (that I can't avoid), not knowing what the hell he's planning on doing? 

Well. I wasn't game to go past the tree, so I kept going down towards the river. I could hear him crunching along behind me, and it was partially comforting to know that he obviously wasn't very good at being quiet, which meant it was unlikely he had had a lot of practice, and therefore it was unlikely he was a serial killer. 

I was just starting to wonder if I should call someone so that if I disappeared they'd have a lead, when my phone rang. It was a friend in Australia, who had been replying to a text and had accidentally hit the call button. Given that it was about 2am Down Under, I've decided it was due to Higher Intervention that he happened to wake up and check the phone at such an hour, and then decided to attempt replying. I heard the footsteps falter when I answered the phone, and when I started chatting the footsteps turned to a jog and went back up the path. Talk about saved-by-the-bell! 

I waited a while and then headed back up the path to do something I really should have done the instant it happened; find some form of staff member and tell them. Not surprisingly, it had been about 15 minutes by the time I found someone, and the dodgy flasher was long gone. Still, I'll know for next time...? 
Hopefully not going to be necessary. 

Bye for now!

Inside the entrance to Kibble Palace.

View of Kibble Palace.

Water splashing off a palm leaf.

Dew suspended over a bush by a spider-web.

The bridge over the river I was walking to.